


mad love, reading your body language

by atlantisairlock



Category: Ocean's 8 (2018)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Background Relationships, Developing Relationship, F/F, First Kiss, Friendship/Love, Future Fic, Idiots in Love, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Meta, Oblivious, Revelations, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-15
Updated: 2018-07-15
Packaged: 2019-06-10 19:10:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,623
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15298125
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atlantisairlock/pseuds/atlantisairlock
Summary: Nine Ball and Tammy are dating, but Tammy is blissfully unaware of it.Or: Five Times Tammy Doesn't Get It, One Time She Gets It, And One Time She Gets Her Shit Together.





	mad love, reading your body language

**Author's Note:**

> for **allyc13** , who asked for: tammy thinks her & nine ball are just friends, but nine ball thought they were dating & just taking it slow. i saw this & just JUMPED on it i LOVE IT so much. 
> 
> universe alteration where tammy divorced her husband ages ago & is a single mother from the beginning of the movie + yes i know imdb has the kids' actual names now but what kind of white bread names are 'derek' & 'keri' i really like my original names so i stuck with them. 
> 
> background daphne x debbie x lou.
> 
> catfishofoldin99colours made an [illustration](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17608490) for this fic!!! 
> 
> title from 'body language' by tabitha nauser.

Of all seven of them on the team, Tammy’s the last one to arrive and move in proper into headquarters to start working on the heist. Mostly because she gets delayed figuring out how to craft a plausible story to the kids so they know why they’re staying with the ex for a few weeks. Not to mention figuring out how to tell the ex himself. Not that Eric is ever reluctant to have them over, but she couldn’t exactly just drop them off on his doorstep and tell him she was flitting off for a month to steal a priceless necklace. 

So she figures out her cover story, gets the kids packed off, hugs and kisses them goodbye and tells them she’ll be back really soon, _then_ goes off to join the team. Planning the heist and doing all the preparation takes up a lot of time and distracts her, but Tammy finds herself missing Caleb and Zoe anyway, for good reason. She allocates an hour after dinner to video-call them and sticks to it every day, no matter how busy she gets. 

“We had a _sewing_ class in school today, Mommy,” says Caleb, voice a little staticky over the Skype connection but the excitement in it evident. “Everybody got to colour patches and then we sewed them onto our jackets and mine is black with skulls on it and it looks so cool, see?” 

He holds his jacket up to the webcam but is deterred by Zoe’s flailing hand as her face fills the screen. “Mommy! Daddy let me sit in the front seat when we drove Caleb to school today! We dropped him off then we went to the park! And we got ice cream! And we saw a HUGE dog and it licked my face! And we had pizza for lunch! And then Daddy cooked mac and cheese for dinner! And - “ 

“Honey, don’t overwhelm your mother,” says Eric, smiling fondly at Zoe. “Both of you finish up with Mommy and then go wash up, alright? Bedtime’s in half an hour.”

“Aww,” they both chorus, but turn back and wave into the webcam. “Good night, Mommy. Come home soon!” 

“I will,” Tammy promises, feeling a wave of homesickness wash over her. “I miss you both so much.” 

They exchange another round of goodnights and Zoe reminds her to buy a souvenir back from the big city like she promised, and then Tammy ends the call, leaning back against the couch and sighing. 

“Your kids, huh?” Nine Ball’s voice drifts over from the armchair and Tammy jerks up - she hadn’t noticed Nine Ball entered the room. She’s got a small smile on her face, the one Tammy has learned tells of genuine interest and amusement. “They with your husband?”

“My ex,” Tammy corrects her, setting her laptop down. “He’s looking after them while I’m here.” 

Something flashes in Nine Ball’s eyes, or Tammy _thinks_ it does, but it’s gone so quickly she isn’t really sure it was ever there at all. Certainly her voice is still the same casual drawl when she speaks again. “You two seem to be on decent terms.”

Tammy shrugs - she’s never really talked to anyone about the divorce, too busy raising the kids on her own and living day-to-day to think about it. “We got into it too fast, and we realised pretty quickly that we were good as friends, but not really suited to be a couple.” She thinks for a moment and decides _eh, what the hell._ “Also, it was getting tiring keeping the job a secret.” 

That makes Nine Ball laugh out loud. She has this way of laughing, when it’s a real laugh - the sound of it low and throaty, her hair tossed back and her eyes sparkling. It takes Tammy’s breath away for a brief second, because in those moments, she looks stunning. She always looks pretty - nobody could look at Nine Ball and not think she was pretty - but when she laughs it’s almost otherworldly, how beautiful she looks. 

Tammy tries not to think too hard about it. 

“Suburbia really does not suit you, Tam,” Nine Ball says, bringing Tammy back to the moment. “You a real underworld gang leader kind of girl.” 

Tammy snorts at the mere thought. “Wait until you see me with the kids.” 

Nine Ball cocks her head, grinning. “We’ll see.” 

 

 

The first place they go after the heist is, of all things, a falafel place. Predictably, at Constance’s insistence.

“It’s to die for,” she insists, ordering seven sandwiches for them to take back to headquarters and giving them looks of extreme judgment. “This stuff is the shit. I don’t get how none of you have tried it before.” 

“I’m Australian,” says Lou, sounding deeply offended. 

Constance scoffs. “You’ve been in America for a million years. There’s no excuse.” She hands some bills over and they all pile back into the van to head -

Tammy just manages to stop herself from thinking _home._ Headquarters isn’t home, she reminds herself. She has a home, and the warehouse isn’t it. Even though she sits around with the girls in the living room every night after calling the kids and they chat and watch movies and put records on sometimes, even though it’s starting to feel so much like she belongs. 

She can’t allow herself to feel that way. She has a responsibility. She has two children and after all this is over, she can’t stay. 

 _It is over,_ a voice in her head whispers. _The heist succeeded. Just one or two more things to do, and you’re going to leave._

She ignores it in favour of listening to Constance and Debbie squabble over where the best pizza in New York is. Keeps ignoring it once they pull up at the warehouse, unload, and sprawl themselves in various contortions on the couches and chairs in the living room. Constance distributes sandwiches and everyone takes a bite and okay, she wasn’t kidding, they are _good._

The light conversation mostly surrounds food for a while, until Amita suddenly falls silent, looking like she’s thinking hard about something. “Guys,” she says, slowly. “We did it. We actually did it. We pulled off the heist.” She removes her earrings and lays them reverently on the coffee table, the jewels sparkling in the light. “We stole the Toussaint.”

Everyone follows the path of the earrings and there is glorious silence for a good minute, and then Nine Ball laughs that laugh of hers. “Yeah, we fucking did it.” 

It’s like a dam breaks, everyone bursting out into whoops and cheers and drunken joy. Tammy can’t stop smiling, watching as they all remove their own pieces of jewellery and lay them beside Amita’s. They actually pulled off the most audacious heist she could ever even dream of. They still have to fence the diamonds and make doubly sure nothing comes back to bite them in the ass, but they _did it._

Lou breaks out the good champagne in celebration, along with many, many bottles of liquor. The alcohol flows easy as the conversation, and Tammy feels warmth spread through her chest, fuelled by gin and a full stomach and the heady high of succeeding against all odds. The atmosphere is light, and everyone is in high spirits, talking and laughing. It’s good.

She’s just finished her fourth glass of… something, when an arm drapes itself around her shoulders. Tammy looks up to see Nine Ball reclining onto the sofa with a grin on her face and a drink in her hand. “Good night, huh?”

“The best,” Tammy agrees, feeling flushed and tipsy and _euphoric_ in a way she can’t remember being in ages. Nine Ball chuckles, eyeing her empty glass and passing her the drink in her hand. “Try this. Mixed it up myself. It’s good, swear down.” 

Tammy takes a long sip, savouring the taste - it _is_ good, and strong to boot. She gives Nine Ball a thumbs up of approval and hands it back. Nine Ball takes it - for a moment, their fingertips brush, and it feels like a jolt through Tammy’s spine, this shivery feeling in her bones. 

She chalks it off to being _pretty_ drunk. Her head is swimming a little, and she rests it on Nine Ball’s shoulder, trying to keep her eyes open and watch the shenanigans going on in front of her - Constance and Lou egging Rose on as she happily chugs what looks like a homemade Jagerbomb, Debbie smirking at them while calmly enjoying more champagne, Amita actually being professional and giving the diamonds another once-over. Nine Ball tenses a bit, and for a moment Tammy’s worried and this close to moving away, but then she seems to relax and tilts her head so her cheek is pressed lightly to Tammy’s temple. “You drunk, Tam?” 

“No,” Tammy says, unconvincingly. “Just happy.” 

“Me too,” says Nine Ball, and she sounds it. 

They just sit like that for a while, and it’s nice. The jubilant ecstasy of the night is slowly beginning to wear down into dazed, peaceful comfort, and Tammy likes it. She is happy. 

“Hey,” she says under her breath when the haze of alcohol works itself off just a little. “I forgot to ask. How _did_ you get into the Gala? Your name wasn’t on the list when I checked at Vogue. I think.” 

Nine Ball grins. “It was. Under an alias.” Tammy sighs - _duh,_ of course, her brain is on the fritz. “But apparently I didn’t need the alias. I walked to the front and the people checking invitations just let me in. Apparently I look like some singer with my makeup on, and she was a no-show, so… guess I took her place.” 

Tammy frowns. “Did they say who it was?”

Nine Ball shrugs, taking another sip of her drink - Tammy is briefly envious of her apparent iron liver. “Someone called Rihanna? I don’t know. I just swept in before they changed their minds.”

“You don’t look like Rihanna,” says Tammy, who thinks her opinion is valuable on this matter because Caleb and Zoe _adore_ Rihanna and she has sat through many long car rides to them singing off-key to her albums so she _knows_ who Rihanna is - boy, does she know. “You’re much prettier.”

She’s probably drunk, if she’s saying things like that, and really it’s a bad idea, but in this state Tammy can’t really think of why and doesn’t particularly care. Especially when Nine Ball laughs softly and leans in closer, smiling. “Thanks, I guess. I’m sure you’re prettier than her too.” 

This is most definitely not true, but Tammy doesn’t argue the point, mostly because she’s dropping off to sleep by then.

 

 

Somewhere after Daphne Kluger storms into the warehouse telling them they are fucked, but before Debbie goes to meet with John Frazier in a diner, Tammy comes to the sudden and deeply shocking realisation that she’s not leaving. 

More accurately, she can’t leave. The mere thought of it makes something clench uncomfortably and painfully tight in her chest - the idea of packing her things and going to Eric’s and taking the kids back to the suburbs. ‘The suburbs’, that’s how she thinks of the house now, because it’s not home. Not any more. 

The others are staying. They’ve made it clear enough. Even Daphne cleared out a room for herself (without Debbie or Lou’s prior approval, but she put her foot down and they would have let her anyway). Tammy thinks about walking away from them and it hurts like an actual physical wound would. 

She’s not leaving Caleb and Zoe. She knows that if they don’t want to move here with her, if the others don’t want kids in the house, she’s going back to where she started and she will have no choice in the matter. Caleb and Zoe have to come first, always. 

But god, she wants to stay, so badly.

The kids are receptive enough. She poses the idea to them over another video-call after making sure Eric isn’t in the room. They latch on to the idea of moving to the big city immediately, asking at the top of their voices whether they can do this and that once they move. Tammy shushes them and makes them swear not to tell anybody yet, including their father, then goes to ask Debbie and Lou.

“We’re okay with it,” says Debbie. “We’d love to have Caleb and Zoe here.” 

“I think I should ask the other girls, too,” says Tammy. 

Lou narrows her eyes. “If they have a problem with it, they can take it up with us. We all want you to stay. You’re one of us. And we’d never ask you to give up your kids for that.” 

And Tammy knows that - the girls aren’t like that. But it still feels right to ask anyway, so she does. They’re all cool with it. Nine Ball looks especially excited. “It’ll be amazing to have them here,” she says. “If Veronica wasn’t going off to college I’d ask if she wanted to move in too. I’d love to meet your kids, Tam. And get to know them and everything.”

“You’re not going to teach them how to be hackers, are you?” Tammy asks, but she can’t help but smile at how sincere Nine Ball sounds about it. In response, Nine Ball clicks her tongue. “Eh, I’ll start them off with coding first.” 

“No hacking,” Tammy warns, because she has no doubt that Nine Ball actually would teach them how to mess with a system or something.

“How come they don’t get to learn how to hack, but Constance gets to teach them how to skateboard?” 

“Constance  _what?_ Constance is _not_ teaching them how to skateboard until they go to middle school _at least,_ ” says Tammy. 

“You had better tell her that,” says Nine Ball, smirking, but it softens quickly. “Middle school, huh? You think you’ll stay that long?”

“Of course,” says Tammy, feeling a little confused. “I have something to stay for.” Some _things,_ really - all of them, even Daphne, the friendship and camaraderie they’ve built by coming together to pull off an incredible heist. They feel like _family,_ and that is worth absolutely everything. 

“Something to stay for,” Nine Ball murmurs, still smiling. “That’s a nice way to put it.” 

 

 

The kids integrate into the warehouse faster than Daphne does, which Tammy wishes she could say she was surprised by but really, she’s not. 

“I can’t believe none of you wear decent sunglasses,” she says, looking genuinely concerned. “Eye health is important!” 

Lou snorts scornfully, buttering another piece of toast. “Your current sunglasses are from Burberry. What are you talking about?” 

“That’s just because some idiot on the set ruined my Dior ones, I’m waiting for a new pair to be shipped over!” 

“I don’t really think that’s what Lou meant,” says Rose. 

“I’m not dropping a hundred dollars on a pair of shades when I can get a perfectly good pair at the corner store for eight bucks,” says Amita. 

“I’m not even paying eight bucks when I can get them for nothing,” Debbie chimes in. 

Daphne glares at her. “That’s because you _steal_ them. And for your information, Dior sunglasses don’t cost a hundred dollars. Try _six.”_

“Six dollars?” Constance says, looking confused.

Daphne looks ready to explode. “Six _hundred!”_

From where she’s packing Caleb’s lunch at the kitchen island, Tammy rolls her eyes. Nine Ball catches it and laughs, getting up and going over to join her. “Behold, the pitfalls of being born with a silver spoon up the ass.” 

Against her better judgment, Tammy snorts with laughter. “I dare you to say that to her face.”

“I don’t have a death wish,” is Nine Ball’s prompt reply. She checks her hip against the island, grinning at Tammy. “Unlike Debbie.”

 _“Debbie_ is going to say that to Daphne’s face? Oh god, stop her.”

“No, but she’s doing worse. She’s letting Daphne cook dinner for tonight.” 

“Oh lord,” Tammy shudders. “Has she forgotten what happened the _last_ time Daphne cooked?” 

Nine Ball shoots her a sly smile. “Between you and me, I think it’s just an excuse to get some time alone with her. If you know what I mean.” 

Tammy is thoroughly confused for a second, until - “Wait. Debbie and _Daphne?_ I thought Debbie was dating Lou!” She’s known both of them for _ages,_ and despite all their constant denial everyone around them was always just waiting for them to get it together and make it official. She didn’t actually think anybody could get between them. 

“I didn’t say Lou wasn’t on board with the idea too,” Nine Ball grins, and oh, wow, okay, she definitely didn’t see that coming. Nine Ball rolls her shoulders back, staying quiet and letting Tammy take it in. “The others are getting the hell out so they don’t have to eat burnt spaghetti and TV dinners. Amita’s going to her sister’s, Constance’s heading to this skate competition, and Rose has a meeting with some investors. So I was thinking… we could go out for dinner?” 

“Oh - us?” Tammy frowns. “But Caleb and Zoe - “

“They’ll come too. We can go somewhere they’ll like.” 

“They’re kids,” she warns. “They’ll probably ask for burgers or something greasy like that.”

“I like burgers,” says Nine Ball, looking bewildered. “What’s wrong with burgers?” 

Tammy rolls her eyes again, but she’s grinning this time - she can’t help it, it’s adorable. “Sure, okay then. Sounds good.” 

“Yeah,” says Nine Ball, shooting her another smile before she turns to exit the kitchen. “I’ll ask them where they want to eat and make reservations if we need.” 

“What, at _Macdonalds?”_

Nine Ball’s laughter reverberates, lingering even after she leaves.

 

 

Tammy knows she’s fucked the morning she wakes up and her head hurts. Actually, everything hurts - her throat is raw and her bones ache. Inwardly she groans - it’s the worst time to get sick, because Caleb’s staying late in school and can’t get the bus which means she has to drive down to get him, and Zoe has karate today so she has to send her there and pick her up too. With an effort, Tammy manages to drag herself out of bed, wash up and change, heading to the kitchen to make Caleb a quick breakfast.

“You look sick, Mommy,” he says when he sits down at the dining table, looking concerned. “Are you okay?”

Tammy smiles weakly, ruffling his hair. “I’m okay, sweetheart. Finish your toast and we’ll get going, okay?” 

She stands in the hallway to the kitchen while he eats, not daring to sit by him in case what she has is contagious. Tammy sips slowly on warm water, trying to will the nausea and throbbing headache away. It’s a trial to even keep her eyes open, which is why she’s taken by surprise when she hears Nine Ball’s voice right by her ear. “Tammy?”

Her eyes fly open to see Nine Ball looking worried. “Hey, you okay? Why you just standing here?”

“I’m fine,” says Tammy. Nine Ball’s eyebrows shoot up at the sound of her hoarse, raspy voice. “Uh, no, you most certainly are not.” She presses the back of her hand against Tammy’s forehead and Tammy nearly cries at the soothing coolness of it. “Shit, Tam, you’re burning up. Go back to bed.”

Tammy shakes her head. “I can’t. I need to get Caleb to school, and later Zoe’s going for karate, and - “

Nine Ball cuts her off with a finger against her lips. “Stop. We’ll handle it. There are, like, five cars in the garage and we’ve all got the routine down pat. We’ll get both of them where they need to be.” 

“You’re not on the list,” Tammy tries pathetically as Nine Ball hustles her back to her bedroom. “They won’t let you pick them up.” 

“Please,” Nine Ball scoffs in reply. “I am a hacker. I will get all of us on the list in the next ten minutes once you get back into _bed.”_

Tammy really can’t find it in herself to argue, especially when she does get back under the sheets and her head hits the pillow. Oh god, that’s good, even though everything still hurts and the temperature seems to be rising. She closes her eyes, a wave of exhaustion hitting her. The last thing she sees before she falls asleep is Nine Ball gently pushing her hair back and telling her to just rest. 

She does rest - it’s probably the longest, deepest sleep she’s had since she had kids - and when she next wakes up, the sun’s going down, judging by the way the light’s coming through the window. Tammy jerks up, and quickly thinks better of it. 

“Hey, lie down,” says a familiar voice, and Tammy relaxes back onto the pillows. “Here, I’m just gonna switch out this shit on your forehead. Drink some water.”

Tammy takes the water from Nine Ball’s hand, gladly drinking it down. Nine Ball’s hand covers her forehead, peeling away some sort of strip and replacing it with a fresh one. “Daphne got these fancy-ass cooling gel strips or something for you. They’re supposed to bring down your fever. You feeling better?”

“Yeah,” Tammy rasps out. “Where are Caleb and Zoe?”

“Out at the dining table with the others having dinner. Don’t worry. I drove Caleb to school and Zoe to karate and I picked both of them up too. They know you’re sick, they won’t bother you. Caleb even got his homework done without any prompting.” 

Despite the still-present fever and the chills, Tammy manages to smile. “Thank you, Nine.” 

“No need. It’s what we do for each other.” She pushes Tammy’s hair back, and in the dim light, Tammy can see the fond concern on her face. “You think you can keep something down? Amita got some generic medication but it needs to be taken after food.” 

Tammy thinks about getting out of bed and winces. “Maybe if you bring it in on a tray or something.” 

“Sure. Just hang on, yeah? Be right back.” 

Nine Ball returns with porridge - honest to god porridge with some kind of vegetables on the top. “Constance made this. It’s her grandma’s recipe, apparently. Some type of congee. It’s supposed to be really good.” 

“Tell her thanks,” Tammy says, reaching for the bowl. Nine Ball holds it back. “Hey, what you think you’re doing? Look, let me.” 

“What, are you going to feed me, I’m not five,” Tammy protests.

“I know. If you were five, you probably wouldn’t talk back. Sit back and just let me. You might drop it and mess up the sheets.”

This is true. Tammy reluctantly lies back and lets Nine Ball slowly give her spoons of congee. “This _is_ really good.”

“You can compliment the chef when you’re well again,” says Nine Ball. Tammy smiles at her, feeling warm from head to toe, and not just because of the fever. “Nine,” she says, softer this time. “Thanks. Really. I mean it. This is… a lot.” 

Nine Ball just gives her a long, unscrutable look, before smiling back and bringing the spoon back to her lips. “You’re welcome.” 

 

 

The day before Lou’s birthday, Tammy gets roped in to help Debbie bake her a cake and some cookies.

“Why can’t you ask Daphne?” Tammy demands. “She’s actually _dating_ you two.” 

“Because you’re my best friend, and you’ve always been amazing at baking,” says Debbie, batting her eyelashes and giving her the puppy-dog eyes. “Please? Please? Also, Daphne’s useless in the kitchen and we both know this. I’m leaving her to do the gift shopping instead.” 

Which is how she finds herself coerced into the kitchen, apron on and flour all over her hands. Debbie is looking frazzled, a mode that is eminently familiar to Tammy, who has been her friend for decades and had to stop her burning down her kitchen more than once when they were in their teens. “Which one is the baking powder?” 

“The one with the red cap.” 

“There are _three_ with red caps! Why don’t any of them have labels?”

“They do have labels.” Tammy turns to see Debbie kneeling on the floor peering into a cabinet and sighs. “Debbie, that’s the wrong - you know what, just stay here. I’ll do it. You can whisk the eggs.” 

Debbie does as she’s told, and there is blessed peace for a while as Tammy keeps her busy. It isn’t until the cake is in the oven and the cookies are cooling on the island that she finally relaxes. “Well, you didn’t burn the kitchen down this time.”

“That was _once,_ and it wasn’t the whole kitchen,” Debbie snaps, to Tammy’s laughter. They lean against the island and watch the oven, Tammy feeling thoughtful. “I really didn’t see it coming, you know.”

“What?”

“You and Lou and Daphne,” says Tammy. “I mean, Lou, sure. But Daphne?”

Debbie shrugs. “Lou fell for her first. You know I’ve always been more of a monogamist than she is, and I’ve been Lou’s girl forever. But… I don’t know. It just happened. She’s really something.” She grins askance at Tammy. “Speak for yourself. I didn’t see yours coming, either.” 

“What, the divorce?” Tammy knows Debbie was already in jail by the time she and Eric split up, but Debbie never asked about it while they were planning and executing the heist, so she never said anything, either. 

Debbie frowns. “Not the divorce. I saw that one coming - no offence. Eric wasn’t suitable for the lifestyle you were leading, or wanted to.” She grins. “I mean you and Nine Ball.” 

Tammy, who’s been idly fiddling with the spatula, nearly drops it on the floor. “What?” She can feel her face going hot, her whole body going still. “What are you talking about?” 

“You and Nine dating,” Debbie says, narrowing her eyes. “Are you two trying to keep it on the down-low or something? Sorry, the whole house already knows, so you can just come out and say it.” 

Tammy feels like everything is spinning. “No, we’re - Debbie, you know we’re not dating, right? Nine and I are just friends. We’re friends.” 

Debbie scoffs with laughter. “Please. We’re not stupid, Tam, seriously. Look, are you worried that we’re going to judge or something? I’m dating two people at once, and one of them is a criminal and the other is Hollywood’s angel. I think it’s not really going to top that.” 

“No!” Tammy slams the spatula down more aggressively than she intends to. “Debbie, I’m not trying to _hide_ anything, or whatever. We are _friends._ Nine and I aren’t dating. I’m _serious._ There’s nothing going on between us. We’re just friends.” 

There is a very long, tense silence. Debbie looks at her with her mouth open, like she’s grown an extra head. Tammy just looks back, trying to hold firm, willing her knees not to collapse under her. She can feel herself trembling, and she doesn’t know why. 

“Holy shit, you’re serious,” says Debbie slowly. “You’re not dating.” 

“No! Why would you think that?”

Debbie doesn’t answer, dropping her gaze. “Tammy, if that’s true,” she says, sounding concerned and a little worried. “I think you should let Nine Ball know.” 

A surprised laugh leaves Tammy’s lips without her really thinking about it. “What are you talking about? She knows. Nine knows that the two of us are just friends. Why would she think otherwise?” 

Debbie looks back up at her, and then suddenly stiffens, her expression going blank and her gaze shifting to the doorway of the kitchen. Tammy turns to see Nine Ball standing in said doorway, and the expression on her face just steals the breath from Tammy’s lungs. It’s a look of complete and total heartbreak, written clear as day, the confusion and anguish deeply obvious. Tammy is suddenly struck by how painful that is to see on Nine Ball’s face, and how everything she just said to Debbie feels purely wrong. 

_We’re just friends._

_Oh god,_ Tammy thinks. _Oh god, we’re not just - I love her. I_ love _her._

But it’s too late. She doesn’t even have time to open her mouth or take a step forward before Nine Ball has disappeared back the way she came, and by the time Tammy makes it to the doorway, she’s gone. 

“Shit,” she whispers, turning back to Debbie. “Debbie - _fuck,_ she heard me.” 

Debbie’s giving her this look, one of sympathy and understanding couched from years of friendship. “Not just friends, right?”

“Fuck,” says Tammy, the tears springing to her eyes, her vision blurring. “Fuck, I don’t - I love her. Debbie, I love her.” 

“I know,” says Debbie, and pulls her into a hug, and lets her cry it out.

 

 

Nine Ball doesn’t come home that night.

Or the next night.

Or the night after that.

“She’s with Veronica,” Lou says after getting off the phone. “She’s safe.”

“Veronica’s off at college,” Rose says, confused. Lou nods. “She’s in Massachusetts?!” 

Lou nods, sighing. “Apparently. Veronica’s got an apartment, so she’s crashing there. Or at least I think she’s crashing.” The unspoken _I’m not sure she’s not staying_ hangs in the air. “Jesus. What the fuck happened? Why did she just jet off?”

Debbie glances at Tammy, who shakes her head minutely and buries her head between her knees. For the past three days it’s felt like her whole heart is broken beyond repair, leaving a hollow in her chest that makes it hard to breathe. The house feels bigger, quieter, and it feels like she’s irrevocably lost something that she’s never going to get back. 

“She’s not coming back?” Daphne says, looking torn. “But… we’re a team.” 

“I know,” says Lou, running a hand through her hair, eyes screwed shut. They all look frustrated and upset and Tammy feels guilt curl heavy in her stomach. 

_This is my fault._

She thinks about it - _really_ thinks about it; Nine Ball leaving, forever, and _never_ coming back. The team being torn asunder and it being entirely her fault. She can keep quiet and never let them know how she fucked up, and she can live with this for the rest of her life.

Or - 

Tammy looks up, steels her jaw, clenches her fists. “I need to get on the next flight to Massachusetts.” 

 

 

Six hours later finds Tammy on the doorstep of Veronica’s apartment with nothing on her but two open-date return tickets and her heart beating a thousand miles a minute in her chest. She’s knocked twice and she can hear the bolts being slid back now, and the door opening, and -

And Nine Ball’s standing there in front of her, in the flesh, and all the words Tammy was planning to say get lost in her spleen. Three days they haven’t seen each other, and Tammy missed her, but it was one thing missing her back in New York, and quite another to be right here, right now, in front of her, staring at her, and it all falls into place. 

“I’m sorry,” she blurts out. “It’s been so long since I felt this way about anybody, and I - I forgot. I didn’t think, I just let myself be happy, and I never meant to hurt you.” 

Nine Ball doesn’t say anything, and the anxiety, the sheer terror just rises in Tammy’s throat. “Nine. I’m sorry. Everything I said to Debbie - I didn’t realise. And I was wrong. I know that now. I knew the moment I saw you there in the doorway. You’re not just my friend.” She swallows hard, and lets the truth roll off her tongue. “You never were.” 

The silence remains for another long minute, the longest minute of Tammy’s life, before Nine Ball closes her eyes and sighs. “I thought we were taking it slow,” she says, very quietly. “We never said anything, never drew any lines, never talked about it, and… I know that was my fault. To just assume. And I’m sorry too. I just thought… you looked at me the way I look at you.” 

“I do,” Tammy agrees, because the past months are making so much more sense now, and she is still hurting and she is still so guilty but nothing has ever felt this right. “You were right. Everything you assumed, you were right. I really - I love you. I do.” 

Three days ago, seeing the heartbreak on Nine Ball’s face - it took all of Tammy’s breath away. This - the smile blossoming on her face, the relief and joy and sheer longing love - _this_ just sweeps her off her feet. After Caleb and Zoe, _this_ is the most beautiful thing she has ever seen in her life, including the fucking Toussaint. 

“I am fucking crazy about you,” Nine Ball replies, and her eyes are dry but her voice trembles a little, and it makes Tammy fall even deeper in love. “I’m so fucking gone on you, Tammy.” 

Tammy has kissed a lot of people before - Eric, Debbie, even Lou, and a whole lot of other people she doesn’t care to remember. There have been good kisses, bad kisses, god-awful ones, even some really mind-blowing ones, but she kisses Nine Ball, right then and there, and it is like absolutely nothing she has ever felt in her life. It is the best kiss she will ever have, without question, and it is all she ever wants, now and forever. 

“Come home,” she says, when they finally stop kissing (not after a long, long time). “Come home with me.” 

“Come home _to_ you,” Nine Ball corrects, and Tammy laughs through the tears. “Yeah, Nine. Come home to me.” _For the rest of our lives,_ she thinks. _Forever._


End file.
